From time to time, I will write about life, art, and the things that spark my imagination. And, just in case you were wondering, I’m completely drawn to time-worn elements, theater, dance, music, flowers, and books. I’m captivated by the portrait and the challenge of this subject. I aspire to weave these elements together into my art and reveal who I am.
On July 5th I sat down to draw the last portrait in my 100 portraits in 100 days project.
I thought about this day many times throughout the project. I could see the drawing clearly in my mind. At last, a portrait so beautiful that all my artistic insecurities would finally evaporate from my being. Then, I would celebrate in style! Maybe I would hang a disco ball from the ceiling, throw confetti into the air and pop the cork off a bottle of champagne. In my mind, it was going to be amazing!!
However, when day 100 finally arrived, it wasn't like that at all. I selected a beautiful sheet of paper for the occasion and almost immediately decided against it. Instead, I drew a small portrait in my sketchbook. No fanfare, no disco ball, no big announcement on social media, just me, some charcoal and my favorite sketchbook. It really was the perfect way to end this all-consuming creative project.
I decided to embark on this self-imposed journey to find something new in my art and develop my creative process. I wanted to improve my drawing skills, expose my art a bit more, and gain momentum in my work. I wanted to push myself in a way that I hadn't done before. So, in the end, was I able to accomplish what I set out to do? I believe I did, to a certain extent. However, I now understand that I have just barely skimmed the surface. I need to use this momentum to continue to develop my art and tell my story.
The portrait below embodies everything I have learned and experienced over the last one hundred days. As I worked, I reflected back over the project. There were the feelings of frustration, impatience, disappointment, and insecurity that were ever-present. And, of course, there was the, "wanting to quit every day" thing to contend with too But, on the flip side, there were amazing moments when I would feel overwhelmed by the sheer joy of drawing something good! Beautiful moments when something would shift and time would just fall away. A moment when I would finally create from a place that was real and true.
All of these thoughts and emotions spilled into drawing one hundred.
I really wanted to find something original in my work. I wanted to find marks that would reflect what I see, think, and feel. So, did I accomplish this? Maybe. But, one thing I do know, without a doubt, is that I must stay committed to the work, I have to practice, I have to keep pushing and experimenting. And, my biggest revelation of all was that my insecurities are not going to evaporate from my being - they are a part me and they are a part of the art I make. And, I'm finally okay with that!
While I may be vulnerable and a bit insecure when I create, I truly believe these feelings are the soul of my art. I will now honor and celebrate them as I continue to work and strive to create art that is true to me.
I have received so much support during this project and I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your emails, kind comments on Instagram and Facebook have meant so much to me. Thank you, thank you.
At some point, I will compile all of the portraits and share them with everyone. Now, the big question...
Will I ever do a 100-day project again - absolutely not!